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Monday, 12 September 2016

Healthy + Intuitive + Happy eating

After about 3-4 bunch days, where I found myself eating Biscoff Cookie Spread just out of the tin or eating a whole Orange Chocolate and two muffins just on the go. And after 2 days of drinking with friend (that's not really bad, the binching is). So after these days and being afraid of gaining a ton of weight I need to clear my mind. I don't really know why I binched on thursday and friday. There was no reason. I wasn't restricting myself as bad as before, I wasn't counting calories. I just wanted to focus on "eat when you're hungry" and "eat healthy, because you are feeling better if you eat healthy". I assume it was the stress of my first week in my interturnship and the lack of sleep. But it's not an excuse. I binched. I ate like a robot, my mind was saying now but I couldn't stop and I just don't know why. I am so afraid because I don't know how to stop and I'm afraid that I'm not going to able to say "no" the next time these thoughts are going to my mind.

I'm going to do a lot of sport the next 1-2 weeks and eat really healthy and count calories the last time in my life. Just to be sure I kinda get over the calories I consumed in the last days. About 10.000-12.000 to much in the last 3-4 days. It's shocking I know. I'm going to take the bike, I continue my marathon training and I'm going to eat healthy.

After that, I am having a goals. It's healthy eating. I'm not going to weigh myself after I'm sure I didn't gained a lot of weight after my binched. I'm going to weigh myself in 2 weeks. After that I have some other goals: being healthy, fitting in a pair of jeans I love, train hard to get stronger and get more slim muscles, doing yoga and ballet for slim muscles. Goals beside the "weight loss". I want to get slimmer. But my main goal right now is to recover from the binching. If I'm going to be able to maintain my weight, fitting in my pants or maybe get fitter. That's amazing. I just don't want to be controlled by food.

Some points are important:
  • eat healthy and natural food
  • eat more protein and fats - keeps you full for longer
  • eat less sweets and sugar
  • don't eat to less
  • don't restrict yourself or label food as "bad foods"
  • eat when I'm hungry, not because I'm bored
  • eat until I'm full and don't continue eating just because it's there
  • getting into cooking 
  • portion control - I don't too much food, but I shouldn't eat to less food
  • be happy with my way of eating
  • healthy, balanced, mindful, intuitive eating

Be fine with having a bowl of cereal sometimes or pancakes, or a large breakfast. But also having soups, smoothie, yummy salads with tofu and eggs. Much protein, vegetable. Just finding balance. Maybe some day I eat 2300 calories, somedays I'll eat 1500. Some days I burn 1400 after a 21k run, somedays I just chill. It's balance. It's all right. This is my goal. Eating healthy, balanced, Intuitive, without restrictions. But mindful and healthy, just because It's much better for my soul and my body (I'm not bloated). I need to understand this. Balance, healthy and intuitive eating is going to make me happy. Three healthy meals and snacks only If I'm really really hungry in between the meals. Often I'm not, I'm just bored. So - mindful eating, much water, tea. 

And some goals beside losing weight:
  • enjoy working out, doing pilates, yoga and ballet - not because I want to lose weight but because I like to workout, get stronger, more flexible, more toned.
  • read more
  • write more
  • watch new tv shows and movies
  • study more
  • taking care of myself - relax, taking time for skin and hair care (I don't use a hair mask very often or I don't moisture my skin after I showered :/)
  • live - not for weight loss, not with the thoughts (my life starts after I lost weight). Live for me. For happiness.
Follow me on my journey. Going to keep you updated on my instagram and on this blog. I'm hoping it's going to be all right. And I hope that I didn't gain weight because of the binches. I know this in 1-2 weeks.

I just want to be happy.

I want to workout.

I want to eat healthy.

I want to live for my life. Not being controlled by food.

Saturday, 10 September 2016

Overcoming "running anxiety" after injuries?

I've been through all this. I had 3-4 weeks of amazing, long runs. I felt great during and after every one of them. Because I trained hard, I listened to my body, I ate well and I just was happy and so proud of myself. I felt like a runner. These weeks were the most amazing ones I had during my whole marathon training. But after all my injuries and after these 4 good weeks I've had been sick for almost 2 weeks. I was so angry and depressed. I was always asking myself "Why does this happen to me now?". I gave so much time and sacrifices to my goal: the marathon.

So after 2 weeks I was back at running and the anxiety hit me. I was afraid of my pace (time per kilometer / mile), how my body was going to react to running. I was over-thinking everything. I was afraid of everything. I was afraid that I could get sick again or hurt myself again. I doubted myself everyday. I was sure - you are not going to run the marathon. It's not enough time.

But I read a lot about running and a lot of stories about people who trained for their first marathon. It motivates me to not give up. It is still hard. It's always going to be hard. The runs will hurt. The marathon will hurt. Running is not easy. But this is making it special and it's going to make me proud. Every run is harder because I'm facing failure every time. Kind of. Because I'm not as good as I was before my illness. But failure is only possible if I'm going to give up and I'm not going to be.

My goal is: to keep running, to stick to my plan. Maybe cry because It's a lot for my mind. This stress, all the running and the negatives thoughts I'm facing. But as long as I'm healthy I will be alright and I will get through this. I just want to enjoy the marathon. So I'm training. I don't care about my pace, my time. I want to be a "finisher". I want to say "I run a marathon and I did it all by myself without any kind of help". 

Because it's a fact for me. I've been realizing this. You are alone on your race. Two of my friends also going to run the marathon but they are much faster than me. I'm going to be alone on the marathon day, and I'm always alone on my training runs. I told my family to not be there at the start because I want to be alone. That's my choice. I want to focus on the marathon. These 4-5 hours. They will be there at the finish line and maybe somewhere at 20-30 km. I told them not to be there to early. I'm going to run but they don't have anything to do. So they don't have to keep looking for me. They can have a nice meal at a restaurant and cuddle me afterwards. And: give me a lot of chocolate BECAUSE THEN I DESERVE IT!

After my injuries I really need to keep that in mind. To focus on myself. To be proud. Not matter if I need 4 hours and 30 minutes as I planned or if I need 5 hours or more. It's my first marathon with 5 weeks I couldn't run and 2-3 weeks influenced by the injuries and 3 weeks of building up my pace and the lenght of my runs.

The most important thing is to run, to have long runs without caring about my speed. I want to challenge myself so I don't want to be slow but I'm not going to care if I'm slower than I was before my illness.

These are the runs I planned for the next 20 days until the marathon:
  • Sunday (11.09.): Half marathon (21,1km)
  • Monday: Rest day - just stretching and some pilates
  • Tuesday: another rest day because it's going to be really hot this day
  • Wednesday: 10k run (it's going to be hot as well, but I'm going to run at about 6pm)
  • Thursday: Rest day
  • Friday: 1 hour and 50 minutes run / or at least 16,2k
  • Satuday: my longest run - 31,195. Unfortnutly I needed to move my marathon preperation run because I needed to train first. I hope it's alright to have a run this long only 2 weeks before marathon - if not, I'm going to split this run into one 26k run and one 16,2k run (equals one marathon). Going to have my research on this. It's sad because I really wanted to have a marathon preperation run / or at 26k
  • Sunday: 7k run
  • Monday: Rest day - just stretching and some pilates
  • Tuesday: Rest day
  • Wednesday: 1 hour and 50 minutes run
  • Thursday: Rest day
  • Friday: 14k run
  • Saturday: 10k run
  • Sunday: 7k run - as you can see I slowly decrease my runs. They are getting shorter so my body can rest. Also I'm going to stretch a lot and have cold baths to recover
  • Monday: 10 minutes slow running, 5k fast running, 10 minutes slow running
  • Tuesday: Rest day
  • Wednesday: 30m running in marathon pace
  • Thursday: MY BIRTHDAY! So it's going to be rest day, I really hope this day motivates me to give my best because my whole family is going to be there.
  • Friday: 20m running in marathon pace and getting my marathon document
  • Saturday: Rest day - probably having an amazing day with my family and a bowl of healthy rye pasta with a selfmade tomatoe sauce and a lot of vegetables :) going to cologne later that evening because I'm sleeping at my sisters flat so I don't need to travel to Cologne on  marathon day
  • Sunday (02.10.): The day of the marathon. The day I've been waiting for 4-5 months. Many tears, many doubts, my hard training runs and a lot of time I've been spending on running. Going to get up at 6, have breakfast at 7, a banana at 8 and start running at 10 - for 4-5 hours. Hopefully I will be proud afterwards. I just need to think "Only 4:30-5:30 (in the worst case) are necessary to feel proud and happy These are 4-5 episode of Narcos or other kind of drama series. And I did had binch watched 3-4 episodes before ;)

I am going to do a running update every week and maybe after my long runs. Keep your fingers cross for me. There are 20 hard and long days ahead of me.

Apple rye pancakes with honey-apples

I made some really nice apple pancakes yesterday and they turned out so delicious so I had to post a recipe of them on here. It is really easy and they are fluffy, filling and taste amazing. Oh yeah, they're also very healthy and only include natural ingredients. You may be wondering why I eat pancakes this often. First it keeps me full and keeps me away from binging. The second reason is that I often make breakfast for my boyfriend and myself for a amazing breakfast :) It's better than just eating bread for breakfast.

You will need for one portion (about 3-4 small pancakes)
  • 50g of rye flour
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon of baking powder
  • 60-80ml of milk (the dough shouldn't be too liquid
  • one big apple
  • 1 tablespoon of honey
  • 150ml of water
  • some cocoa nibs (optional)

You will need a frying pan, a saucepan and a bowl. First put the flour, the egg, the baking powder and 60ml of milk into the bowl and mix it all together. If the dough is to thick and there es flour left just add 20ml of milk until it's a thick dough, but not to thick. Now you can put some oil into the frying pan and put it on middle heat. Don't put your stove on a high eat because the pancake is going to be a little bit bigger so it has to be baken slowly.

Don't put the dough into the pan. First you need to cut the apple into two halves. Take one half and cut it into small slices. Take the other half and cut it into little pieces as you can see on the picture.

Take the saucepan and put the small apple pieces into it. Put the water and the tablespoon of honey into it. Put the stove on middle to high heat and mix it. It need to cook until the water is gone.

After the water is boiling you can put smidgens of the dough into the pan because we want small pancakes. Put the apple slices on the dough and cook the pancake for 2 minutes on every side.

Make a little pancakes tower and put the small apple slices beside. You can top your pancakes with some cocoa nibs. It's so nice if the chocolate melts ♥

I hope you are enjoying this recipe!

Thursday, 8 September 2016

Healthy bircher muesli

Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day and I'm also looking for new, healthy, tasty recipe to start off my day. For a healthy and balanced diet it's important to switch up you're meals. You get different nutritions every day and it's much easier to keep on going with your healthy eating if you having some nice every day. I really love this recipe because bircher muesli is full of healthy nutritions - fruits, oats, milk, raisins - so good for you and all healthy and natural. It keeps me full for so long because it's high in fiber (because of the oats) and also had fat and carbs in it. We need all of this. I hope you like this recipe as much as I need. Tell me if you're tried and loved it :3

You will need for one portion:
  • one apple
  • 120ml of soy milk (or any other kind of milk)
  • 40g of oats (not the soft ones)
  • one tbsp of chia seeds (optional - you can also add another 5g of oats)
  • 30g of raisins
  • 100g of soy quark / yoghurt (or any other kind of yoghurt)
  • one peach (optional - or any other kind of fruit or berry)
  • two tablespoons of maple syrup


You need to preper this on the night before you plan to eat this because the oats need to soak in the milk. You need to grate the apple first and put all the ingredients together into a bowl. The grated apple, the milk, the oats, the raisins, the chia seed (if you have some, if not, add 5-10g extra oats) and one tablespoon of maple syrup. Mix it together until everything is one whole mixture. The milk has to be mixed in really good because the oats needs to soak in the milk. Put the bowl into your fridge and if possible put something on top of the bowl to cover it.

On the next day you can make your breakfast :) Put the quark or yoghurt into a nice and pretty bowl and put the bircher muesli on top. Now you can add any fruit or berries you like and put it on top the muesli. I added a peach. Last but not least, you can put a teaspoon or a tablespoon of maple syrup on top and you're finished. It's a really healthy, and really filling breakfast. All natural and all healthy. And if you're using soy milk and soy yoghurt like I do - it's vegan :)


Sunday, 4 September 2016

Rye pancakes with a healthy strawberry sauce

The one thing I always do is making breakfast for myself and my boyfriend. He isn't a morning person, but I am. So the one thing that makes him stand up, get down the stairs and sit down is pancakes or any kind of delicious breakfast and coffee. I did my cinnamon honey apple pancakes the last 3-4 times, so I wanted to do something else. I made these healthy rye pancakes with a delicious strawberry sauce. I always uses unsweetend frozen berries. I don't really like canned fruits because it's always full of sugar. I much prefer adding some sweetness by adding honey or maple syrup.

You will need for one portion:
  • 50g of rye flour
  • 1 egg
  • 80-100ml of milk (any kind)
  • 200g of frozen strawberrys (without added sugar)
  • 1 tablespoon of honey
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla sugar
  • 1 teaspoon of baking powder
  • some oil for the pan
For the pancakes: Put the flour, the egg, the milk, the vanilla sugar and the baking powder into a bowl and mix it together. If the dough is to solid just add some milk. Put some coconut oil into your pan and put the stove on middle heat. Wait until the oil is hot and make some little pancakes. It's much easier to flip them. Wait about 2 minutes until you can see bubble on the pancakes. Flip them carefully and wait another 2 minutes.

For the strawberry sauce: add about 200g of strawberries into a bowl and put the oven on middle heat. Add about half a cup of water and 1 tablespoon of honey or maple syrup into the bowl. Wait until the water is boiling and don't forget to stir it. The water should boil because the strawberries need to get soft. If it's boiling to hot you can lower the heat. If you like your sauce a little bit sweeter you can add another tablespoon of honey.

If this is ready too you can make a little pancakes tower and put the strawberries on top. But be careful, you don't want to tower to fall! :)

I hope you're going to enjoy these amazing pancakes!

Maple syrup porridge with cinnamon apple

Porridge is one of the best breakfasts you can have. It keeps you full for so long and there are so many different possibilities to make them. Here is a different way - it's healthy, it's sweet - but with healthy and natural sugar - and it has fruit in it. I just love it :)

You will need (for one portion):
  • 1/2 cup of oats (not the soft ones)
  • 1/2 cup of low-fat milk (any kind)
  • 1 cup of water
  • one apple
  • 1 tablespoon of cinnamon
  • 2 tablespoons of maple syrup
  • 1 tablespoon of almond butter

Put the oats, the milk and the water into a bowl and put the stove on middle heat. Stir it regularly so it doesn't get burned. You need to cook it for 5-10 minutes, depends on how long it takes for the oats to soak in the water. It shouldn't be to fluid.
 At the time you can cut a apple into small pieces and put them into another bowl. Add 1/3 a cup of water and 1-2 tablespoons of cinnamon. Just cook them on middle to high heat until the water is gone and your apples are soft.

After the oats are ready you can put them into bowl and add the apples, the maple syrup and the almond butter. And you're done :) It's easy and It's the perfekt breakfast :)


Almond pancakes with coconut choco sauce + berries

One of my favourite breakfasts are pancakes. There are so healthy if you're using the right ingredients. I used healthy alomd flour and I finally been able to make healthy chocolate sauce! If you want to have a good, healthy start into your day: make these pancakes :)

You need (for one portion):
  • 40g of almond flour
  • 20g of rye flour (for better consistency)
  • 80-120ml of milk (any kind - the dough shouldn't be to fluid or to solid)
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon of baking powder
  • 2 tablespoons of coconut oil (fluid)
  • 2 tablespoons of dark cocoa powder (without sugar)
  • 1 tablespoons of honey or maple syrup
  • 100g of fresh or frozen berries (I use frozen berries because I get a amazing berry sauce :D)
  • some coconut oil for the pan

For mix the egg, the flour, the baking powder and the milk together until you have a smooth dough. Put the stove on middle heat and put some coconut oil in your pan. Wait until the pan is hot. After 2-3 minutes you can put some dough in the pan and make some little pancakes. Bake the pancakes until you can see some bubbles on the pancakes. It takes 2-3 minutes, just keep an eye on them :) Flip them carefully. But if you make small pancakes, it is really easy.

Meanwhile you can put the berries into the microwave and heat them up until there are soft and hot. For the coconut chocolate sauce: just put the coconut oil, the cocoa powder and the honey / maple syrup into a bowl and mix them until it's all smooth. Put them into the microwave as well for about 10-15 seconds, stir it and put it back in for about 10 seconds. It burns easily so don't leave it in the microwave for too long! The sauce and the berries should be hot, but not boiling ;)

After you flipped your pancakes and there are baked from every side, you can make a little pancake tower :) Put the berrys on top really carefully and sprinkle the chocolate sauce on top the pancakes but also on the sides. So every pancake is chocolatey!

It is so delicious and so healthy - I really loved it :) Tell me if you loved them as well :)

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